Rosa Maria Miguel

Breve historia de mi vocación (espagnol)

I am single, 36 years old, electronic engineer by profession. I work closely with the group “Women and Theology” and am also involved in my parish. I belong to a middle-class family. We were not very little religious at home. I was an atheist, a convinced supporter of secular, existentialist philosophies. I was converted when I became 19 years old. I ‘discovered’ God. I felt he called me by my name. I know myself known by him, loved ... It happened through a deep religious experience which has, since then, transformed the Whole of my life.

From the moment of my conversion I felt called to announce “the Good News” that I had received, the Gospel and the love of God. I realise its origin lies in the general vocation common to all the Christians. But I wanted something more. In the beginning I could not accurately name it because of my ignorance of the Church, but I was aware of the different ecclesiastical ministries and I felt a great “harmony” of heart with the ministerial priesthood. At that time I still did not know that being a woman barred me from it. I began to study Theology to prepare myself and to discern that “strange” vocation in me.

My vocation is ecclesial. I feel called to serve the community, by giving them the Sacraments, by accompanying the people in their journey of Faith, by celebrating the Eucharist. I feel called “to confirm the faith of my brothers and sisters”. I believe that to be a woman priest is the way in which God calls me to live my own baptismal commitment. It is trying to be a Christian in the place and the way that God wants me to be.

I believe that in my own life the priesthood will give me the possibility to give myself totally. It will put me in the correct place. Every charism, and every vocation aims only at making us better Christians and to serve better. At present, on account of the Church’s opposition to women priests, I feel my wings have been cut. I feel like an “aborted daughter” of the Church. To be a priest is not only for my benefit, it is a gift for the Church.

I believe that the priestly ministry must evolve much more in order to transcend the gap between clergy and lay. I believe in a ministry of service, rather than of power. The priest should be like a shepherd who accompanies, who animates, and who celebrates through the community and for her. I believe in a church of brothers and sisters, in which all men and women equally share. The best thing for us to hope for, is for all of us to be adult Catholics, who do not need to be “patronised” by the hierarchy.

From the beginning, people were surprised at my wanting to be a priest. It often ended in a lack of comprehension, in them considering me a silly person, someone emotionally unbalanced and trying to attract attention. It made them contradict everything I was saying. It was very difficult for me. On the other hand, I have also had supporters, even though fewer in number. There have been lay people and priests who have been helping and encouraging me. They believe in my vocation.

The difficulties I have encountered have forced me to carefully consider where my desire for the priesthood came from: whether it is just a whim of mine or the will of God. I realised that it was in my own best interest to be honest with myself. For a time I made a special effort to forget my vocation, to treat it as a product of my own mind. I hoped that the time would help me forget it, but quite the opposite happened. My personal prayer, the events of my life that brought me in touch with people, everything confirmed to me in one way or the other that I have a priestly vocation. Other catholics also recognize my vocation. This is important to me because vocation is a communitarian gift, and communitarian discernment carries much weight.

I sincerely believe that God is even more committed to my vocation than I am.

Rosa Maria Miguel